Tonight I discovered that I was still young inside.
In fact I discovered a sense of adventure that I had when I was a child and that I had totally forgotten.
On our way to bringing our daughter to a meeting we saw a motor home for sale on the side of the road.
I did not have this motor home idea for a long time. In fact, I resisted it for the longest time.
Claes has been talking about a motor home for many years. He wanted to just leave and visit the US.
I couldn’t really envision this easily with all our “stuff” and all our animals… 3 dogs, 3 cats, 1 horse and 3 giant
tortoises… It’s even hard sometimes to leave the house as we have to find someone to house sit or come take care of all the pets.
On the way back, I asked Claes to pull over and look at the price of the motor home, just for fun.
On the vehicle were several signs with year and mileage, but no price. So he calls the number and the guy says he is coming over right now. Two minutes later, here were are, talking with the motor home owner and visiting it.
It was a year 2000 and the kind of “oldish” inside with wood and carpeting that reminded me of my beloved childhood vacations in my parent’s caravan. Every year we were spending 2 months in it, on the seaside in the South of France. Right next to the beach, we just had to walk a little bit through some light pine forest and across a sand dune and we could spend the full day bathing and having fun. Even if it was “oldish” looking inside, it was a very clean motor home. I made sure to sit on different seats as if I was already owning it. This is something I always do when I want something, and it works pretty well.
But suddenly I felt still young inside. Not that I feel old. Well, sometimes, I feel older. When this happens, I try to chase that feeling as fast as possible.
What I mean by “I felt still young inside” is that I was ready for adventure!
This was such a nice feeling.
I was totally back to when I was a kid. I was reading lots of cartoons at the time.
On top of that, Disney had ingrained the scouts values in me, through Huey, Dewey, and Louie

 

I realized that this is what I wanted deep down: adventure.
It was a weird realization as the last decades were more focused towards building a life of security and comfort.
I am not saying that every motor home trip is an adventure. It might not even seem very adventurous to a lot of people.
But I think visiting this motor home just revived in me memories from the past in which I was this fearless adventurer in training. My training was all the books and T.V. shows I was watching on “sacred” Saturday.
This was my culture. I am sure it influenced me more than school did.
And here I was, 45 years later, realizing that what motivated me when I was a kid was not what I did in my life!
Talk about living out your dreams!
Ok, let’s be fair. Some parts of my life have been a little adventurous in their own way, so maybe I had 10 to 30 % of
“adventure”. But it was still different than what I “learned” in my parallel education.
And here I am, feeling still young inside and opening myself to possibilities.
Perceiving that maybe, the dreams I thought I had are not the most important ones, or at least not the only ones!
Do you remember when you were a kid? Did you have dreams of adventure?
When you were reading a book, were you in the book too, with all the protagonists?
I was.
I had so many adventures then.
And then it stopped.
I couldn’t pursue the studies I wanted to.
I started reading other books.
I lost the spirit of living life as an everyday discovery.
And today, I discovered that I was still young inside.
And that maybe, I am going to want to see life again with those eyes that see only the good and the fun and believe that everything is possible.
And I thought of myself as someone pretty liberated and cool.
Was I? Or was I stuck in the grown up serious life like everyone else?
What is going to happen now?

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